Photo Courtesy of SOPAC
Comedian Ralphie May, above, will be performing at the South Orange Performing Arts Center on Nov. 7 at 8 p.m.
SOUTH ORANGE — Ralphie May is unlike most comedians. That is not just because he gained fame as a finalist on the first season of the NBC reality competition “Last Comic Standing,” or the fact that he has since launched a prolific career spanning an impressive four Comedy Central specials. It is not even because he holds the distinction of being one of a few comics to receive a standing ovation on “The Tonight Show.”
No, what makes May stand out from other stand-up comics is that he does not tell his jokes only to make audiences laugh: He wants them also to think. While other comedians might shy away from controversial topics such as race during their sets, May, who is white, defies taboos with the purpose of breaking down barriers.
“I am trying to start a conversation,” May told the News-Record in an Oct. 17 phone interview. “I think we all as a society have to give up on the crazy racists. There is no changing those guys. It is the guy who has not become a racist who we have to work on now.”
May will soon get the chance to reach local residents when he performs at the South Orange Performing Arts Center on Nov. 7. He said race will likely be part of his act, and he will also probably discuss his gay neighbor, who recently married.
Many comics might avoid those hotly debated issues for fear of offending their audience, but May said he does not concern himself with what people think of his material. In fact, he said audience members frequently express gratitude to him for opening their minds to certain topics. For instance, after one show he said a man afflicted with HIV thanked him for discussing the virus during his set because it eased his tension about his condition and reminded him that HIV is not necessarily an immediate death sentence.
“When you create art, you cannot be worried about the viewer,” May said. “If it evokes a feeling, positive or negative, then aren’t you really kind of a winner? Isn’t that kind of a success?
“When you are a comedian you say a joke and, if people do not like it, they go crazy,” May added. “There is no need for you to be so really angry at me that you come after me for saying something. It is art. If they are that angry, then I have probably done something right.”
Getting the opportunity to start conversations is just one major perk of his profession, May said. Having grown up poor and “left to be raised by wolves,” he said his career has given him so much to be thankful for in his life.
“I am just lucky,” May said. “I have a great life. I am just very fortunate to do what I do, and I love it. I am the luckiest guy in the world.”
But as much as May enjoys his work, the life of a comedian is not always easy. Touring often keeps him away from his wife, fellow stand-up comedian Lahna Turner, and two young children. To help the situation, May said his family sometimes travels on the bus with him, and he even owns homes in California and his native Tennessee so they can be nearby when he performs on each coast.
Even with these amenities, however, it is still difficult to be separated from his loved ones, May said.
“Audience members think they are paying for a performance,” May said. “You are not. You are not paying for me to perform jokes. The jokes are free. I could give them to you all day long. What you are paying for is me not being in my bed, not sleeping next to my wife, not kissing my kids, not getting them ready for bed.
“I have got a 5- and a 7-year-old,” May said. “I have got major responsibilities. I have got the most important years of their lives, and it would be so nice to see them every day.”
Still, May is excited to soon be back in New Jersey, a state for which he has great respect since, he said, it is the only one in the area not intimidated by New York. He urged residents to attend the show, saying it should be a great night of comedy.
“I love Jersey,” Maysaid. “Jersey rocks it.”
To order tickets, visit www.sopacnow.org/452/RalphieMay or call 973-313-2787.